Category: Dr. Saira

Are you stuck in the dead-zone?

All couples go through it: the dead-zone. Most of us don’t even know it exists, because most of what we learn about relationships is centered around the first two phases: romance and power struggle. Intimate relationships are a platform for clearing out your old stories and belief systems, and stepping more fully into the life you were meant to lead. And while you can do all that without having a partner, being in a relationship accelerates your growth. Why? Because there is no where to hide! No matter how you try, your partner will call you out, whether gently or dramatically. And the messages may be clear or convoluted, loud or soft, to the point or round-about. No matter how your partner communicates with you, when things are not working, one of you will be the first to sense it. If you are the one sensing it, you are probably also the one with the capacity to heal it.

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What are you so angry about?

Every so often, I notice I am surrounded by angry people. People start slamming doors, cutting me off in traffic, and even the movies I watch seem to have angry characters! When that happens, it is the perfect time to stop, pause, and self-reflect. After all, what is around us is always inside us, and if I am noticing angry people, there’s an angry Dr. Saira somewhere inside me, waiting to be acknowledged. I grew up around chronically angry people, and through my personal and professional research, have learned a lot about anger. Read on to learn how to identify your own anger, and what to do with it. This is an especially important read if you don’t think of your self as angry, because the deeper your anger is buried, the more freeing it will be when you finally get it out of your system!

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Do you sabotage yourself?

It’s happening. Just when you think you’ve resolved that old sticky problem, it comes back around to bite you. Just when you think you have kicked that habit, let go of that ex, or finally figured out how to get through to your kids/boss/annoying neighbours, things start unravelling at the seams. As Winter creeps up on us and darkness settles in, the inner saboteur has come out to play. If you feel like just when you figured it all out, things started to fall apart, then this message is for you: don’t lose hope!

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Are you always late?

I used to be late all the time. No matter how well I planned things, I would slide into the the room ten or fifteen minutes late. It was really annoying, not only for the people waiting on me, but I even annoyed myself! Whenever I arrived somewhere I would have this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomache like I was going to get into trouble. Sometimes I was called out, and other times the hosts would graciously ignore that I was late and continue with the event.

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How can you stay focused in go-go-go world?

I was checking my email yesterday, and all of a sudden someone called me on Skype. We chatted for fifteen minutes and then I had a notification on my IPhone that someone had commented on my Facebook status. As I was checking that, I got a text from a client, followed by a missed call from the babysitter. OMG!! There is too much going on in our “private” lives these days, and with all these distractions, it’s no wonder that sometimes you get to the end of a ten-hour work day and feel like you haven’t achieved a darn thing. Here are my thoughts on how to stay focused in the midst of the pings, tweets, and all those other fancy sounds that surround us.

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Healing Relationships

You are a naturally social creature. But you are also a private being that needs time alone to reflect and re-charge. You will have a personal balance point of how much you want to be around others and how much alone-time you need. But whether you are a social butterfly or a wall-flower, how you interact with the people around you tells you something important about your belief system.


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