Posts Tagged ‘Relationships’

Why am I still single?

So many people ask me the question, “Dr. Saira, if I am really as great as you tell me I am, then why am I still single?”

This question breaks my heart, for many reasons.

Yes, you may still be single, but that is only part of the story. If true love is what you are looking for, you will indeed find it. But there is some fine print you need to know about. If you want to be in a committed, loving, mutually beneficial, long-term partnership, you are going to have to let go of your control and perfectionism. Because people are not computers, they will not follow predictable patterns, nor will they always behave the way you hope they will.

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Listen In : Talking About Love

What is it about love that makes us so crazy? What is it about those three little words that give men clammy hands and women the butterflies? Is there such a thing as “the one”? And if there is, why haven’t you found him or her yet? Listen here as I help unravel the mysteries of love.

Are you stuck in the dead-zone?

All couples go through it: the dead-zone. Most of us don’t even know it exists, because most of what we learn about relationships is centered around the first two phases: romance and power struggle. Intimate relationships are a platform for clearing out your old stories and belief systems, and stepping more fully into the life you were meant to lead. And while you can do all that without having a partner, being in a relationship accelerates your growth. Why? Because there is no where to hide! No matter how you try, your partner will call you out, whether gently or dramatically. And the messages may be clear or convoluted, loud or soft, to the point or round-about. No matter how your partner communicates with you, when things are not working, one of you will be the first to sense it. If you are the one sensing it, you are probably also the one with the capacity to heal it.

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Do you sabotage yourself?

It’s happening. Just when you think you’ve resolved that old sticky problem, it comes back around to bite you. Just when you think you have kicked that habit, let go of that ex, or finally figured out how to get through to your kids/boss/annoying neighbours, things start unravelling at the seams. As Winter creeps up on us and darkness settles in, the inner saboteur has come out to play. If you feel like just when you figured it all out, things started to fall apart, then this message is for you: don’t lose hope!

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Do you understand the power of the youth?

I was asked a question today about how to engage young people. They are so vibrant, so creative, so full of potential, yet some of us who are a bit older feel disconnected from the youth in our families, neighborhoods, and cities. Years ago, I sat on the board for a not-for-profit agency dedicated to engaging youth through volunteering. The caliber of ideas, suggestions, and programming initiated by the youth that were discussed at our board meetings put our city hall’s program providers to shame. They were coming up with ways to include even the most disengaged, disadvantaged, and disillusioned amongst them. And they were doing it in fun, creative, and out-of-the-box ways. Young people have the ability to think innovatively and to challenge what the rest of us take for granted. And yet so often, we shut them up or shut them out. Below are my thoughts on how to engage the young people in your life, not only for their sake, but for yours. You will be amazed at how deeply your life will be enriched once you really give them a chance.

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Healing Relationships

You are a naturally social creature. But you are also a private being that needs time alone to reflect and re-charge. You will have a personal balance point of how much you want to be around others and how much alone-time you need. But whether you are a social butterfly or a wall-flower, how you interact with the people around you tells you something important about your belief system.


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