Admit it’s broken, and let me fix it.

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Truth Byte #4: You probably do need help after all.

I am tired of people telling me they are fine when they are so clearly NOT fine. Your marriage is breaking apart at the seams. That equals not fine. You are grumpy when you leave for work, and grumpy after you come home. That equals not fine. The only time you can relax is after you have had a drink or two, and only if it's a long weekend. That equals not fine. We are a nation of unhappy people masquerading as “fine”. And I am here to call bullshit. Read More

My Personal Sunset in the Garage

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Truth Byte #1: “Let the relationship define the moment rather than the moment define the relationship.”

This morning, I was angry. At everyone. But mostly at myself. I knew I should have gone to bed earlier, and I woke up cranky with a full day ahead of me. I rushed around, getting the kids bathed and fed and out the door, only to remember as we were getting into the car that it was pyjama day at my son’s school.

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Why am I still single?

So many people ask me the question, "Dr. Saira, if I am really as great as you tell me I am, then why am I still single?"

This question breaks my heart, for many reasons.

Yes, you may still be single, but that is only part of the story. If true love is what you are looking for, you will indeed find it. But there is some fine print you need to know about. If you want to be in a committed, loving, mutually beneficial, long-term partnership, you are going to have to let go of your control and perfectionism. Because people are not computers, they will not follow predictable patterns, nor will they always behave the way you hope they will. Read More

A Note to the Angry People…

I am tired of angry people.

You know that grumpy person in your family or friend circle that is always upset or on edge about something?  I think this behaviour has gone on long enough, and I am speaking out about it today. There is this uncomfortable undercurrent of prickliness that some of us live with day in and day out, within our families and our workplaces, and no matter how drawn we are to peace, there is the angry person watching from the sidelines, just waiting for a chance to explode, or to make a sarcastic comment, or to huff and puff like a little child throwing a tantrum.

Well, this is my tantrum!

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Listen In : Talking About Love

[audio:http://talktosaira.com/audio/DrSairaRJ1200_Feb14.mp3|titles=Dr. Saira on RJ1200 Talking about Love|artists=Dr. Saira with Saima Naz on Gupshup 2/14]

What is it about love that makes us so crazy? What is it about those three little words that give men clammy hands and women the butterflies? Is there such a thing as "the one"? And if there is, why haven't you found him or her yet? Listen here as I help unravel the mysteries of love.

Are you stuck in the dead-zone?

All couples go through it: the dead-zone. Most of us don't even know it exists, because most of what we learn about relationships is centered around the first two phases: romance and power struggle. Intimate relationships are a platform for clearing out your old stories and belief systems, and stepping more fully into the life you were meant to lead. And while you can do all that without having a partner, being in a relationship accelerates your growth. Why? Because there is no where to hide! No matter how you try, your partner will call you out, whether gently or dramatically. And the messages may be clear or convoluted, loud or soft, to the point or round-about. No matter how your partner communicates with you, when things are not working, one of you will be the first to sense it. If you are the one sensing it, you are probably also the one with the capacity to heal it.

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What are you so angry about?

Every so often, I notice I am surrounded by angry people. People start slamming doors, cutting me off in traffic, and even the movies I watch seem to have angry characters! When that happens, it is the perfect time to stop, pause, and self-reflect. After all, what is around us is always inside us, and if I am noticing angry people, there's an angry Dr. Saira somewhere inside me, waiting to be acknowledged. I grew up around chronically angry people, and through my personal and professional research, have learned a lot about anger. Read on to learn how to identify your own anger, and what to do with it. This is an especially important read if you don't think of your self as angry, because the deeper your anger is buried, the more freeing it will be when you finally get it out of your system!

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Do you sabotage yourself?

It's happening. Just when you think you've resolved that old sticky problem, it comes back around to bite you. Just when you think you have kicked that habit, let go of that ex, or finally figured out how to get through to your kids/boss/annoying neighbours, things start unravelling at the seams. As Winter creeps up on us and darkness settles in, the inner saboteur has come out to play. If you feel like just when you figured it all out, things started to fall apart, then this message is for you: don't lose hope! Read More