A Note to the Angry People…

I am tired of angry people.

You know that grumpy person in your family or friend circle that is always upset or on edge about something?  I think this behaviour has gone on long enough, and I am speaking out about it today. There is this uncomfortable undercurrent of prickliness that some of us live with day in and day out, within our families and our workplaces, and no matter how drawn we are to peace, there is the angry person watching from the sidelines, just waiting for a chance to explode, or to make a sarcastic comment, or to huff and puff like a little child throwing a tantrum.

Well, this is my tantrum!

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What are you so angry about?

Every so often, I notice I am surrounded by angry people. People start slamming doors, cutting me off in traffic, and even the movies I watch seem to have angry characters! When that happens, it is the perfect time to stop, pause, and self-reflect. After all, what is around us is always inside us, and if I am noticing angry people, there's an angry Dr. Saira somewhere inside me, waiting to be acknowledged. I grew up around chronically angry people, and through my personal and professional research, have learned a lot about anger. Read on to learn how to identify your own anger, and what to do with it. This is an especially important read if you don't think of your self as angry, because the deeper your anger is buried, the more freeing it will be when you finally get it out of your system!

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Do you sabotage yourself?

It's happening. Just when you think you've resolved that old sticky problem, it comes back around to bite you. Just when you think you have kicked that habit, let go of that ex, or finally figured out how to get through to your kids/boss/annoying neighbours, things start unravelling at the seams. As Winter creeps up on us and darkness settles in, the inner saboteur has come out to play. If you feel like just when you figured it all out, things started to fall apart, then this message is for you: don't lose hope! Read More

Are you always late?

I used to be late all the time. No matter how well I planned things, I would slide into the the room ten or fifteen minutes late. It was really annoying, not only for the people waiting on me, but I even annoyed myself! Whenever I arrived somewhere I would have this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomache like I was going to get into trouble. Sometimes I was called out, and other times the hosts would graciously ignore that I was late and continue with the event.

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How can you stay focused in go-go-go world?

I was checking my email yesterday, and all of a sudden someone called me on Skype. We chatted for fifteen minutes and then I had a notification on my IPhone that someone had commented on my Facebook status. As I was checking that, I got a text from a client, followed by a missed call from the babysitter. OMG!! There is too much going on in our "private" lives these days, and with all these distractions, it's no wonder that sometimes you get to the end of a ten-hour work day and feel like you haven't achieved a darn thing. Here are my thoughts on how to stay focused in the midst of the pings, tweets, and all those other fancy sounds that surround us.

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Do you have a vision for your life?

So many of us are caught in the hamster-wheel. Every morning we wake up, do our thing, meet people, relax if we can, and then go to sleep. The next day brings the same pattern, and maybe we occasionally do something fun on weekends. What I have learned is that without a clear vision for your life, the days become mundane, and those questions start creeping in. Read More

Have you cleaned up your messes?

We all have them - the chores we hate. For some, it will be taking out the garbage, for others, sorting through the junk drawer, or my personal favorite, cleaning the bathroom. A Zen master once said: "How you do anything is how you do everything." I experienced this philosophy first-hand today as I was cleaning my bathroom. Let me explain. I want to be a person who approaches life with enthusiasm, and tackles challenges with an open mind. I am willing to learn from my mistakes, and I am willing to change as my life requires. Yet, when it comes to cleaning the bathroom, something in me freezes up. Don't get me wrong - I love a clean bathroom. There's nothing like the first shower after the tub has been scrubbed down, or the feeling of fresh bathmats under my toes. But thinking about all that nasty stuck around the toilet bowl, the dead skin lodged in the ring around the tub, and the stray hairs left over from brisk towel action, it all makes me cringe.

I have tried various approaches to deal with my aversion to cleaning the bathroom - hiring someone else to do it, guilting my husband into doing it, even making it a game for my two year old and I to play together (that's right, honey, we scrub the floor with this vapourous rag, not the lazy-mom's Swiffer). But there is something I forget when I am scheming to have someone else literally do my dirty work for me: the way we do anything is the way we do everything. So while I am looking for shortcuts in the cleaning department, I have to ask myself, what other short-cuts are happening in my life? Read More

How do you quiet you inner critic?

Let's talk about the inner critic. We all have one. That little voice inside that stops us from taking risks, that finds the faults in every plan, that finds something to criticize us about, even on our best day. I ran in to mine this week, probably because I was having too much fun. Whenever life is good and I am really enjoying it, that pesky voice starts up. Inevitably, before long, that voice has slammed my self-esteem and brought clouds into my sunny day. The inner critic is a chameleon, changing forms and shapes so it's hard to spot it. Perhaps your inner critic has become so loud that you are actually outwardly critical of others and terribly critical of yourself. As you read this, you may hear your own inner critic, who will either be denying every sentence ("Oh no, I am so OVER that!") or using it as ammunition ("See, one MORE thing to work on...I am NEVER going to get it together!). Stay with me till the end, and you will have some tools to disarm and transform the inner critic. Read More