Truth Byte #61
“Change your story, change your life.”
I finally got it. The phrase that captures what I am trying to do here in my little corner of cyber-space. I, Dr. Saira, have one message that has finally become clear to me:
change your story, change your life.
Over a year ago, my husband and I sat down for a serious conversation about what kind of future I saw for myself in my career. After a long, intense conversation (including a white-board-mind-map!), I could actually picture myself at my professional peak point. I saw myself teaching, counselling, and storytelling. I saw myself on a stage making the audience laugh while crying, and at the same time, I saw myself in a private, quiet room with one other person, helping them to get to the other side of their pain. I saw a balanced life where I could make my own hours, where my paid work felt interesting and engaging, and yet did not intrude on my number one priority: the people I love.
It was the life I have always wanted.
I am a Gemini, a Monkey, and a 7 on the Enneagram. What that means is there are two distinct sides to my personality, and I love butterflying around from project to project. I don’t like to feel tied down, but when I put my mind to something, I fully commit. I am generally happy-go-lucky and it takes a lot to upset me, but when I am upset, everyone knows it because I am a deep feeler. I am wired to avoid emotional pain, and yet I know from experience that facing the heat of my inner demons makes me stronger, makes me happier, makes me more real. One of the two sides of me I have kept somewhat private over the years, but now I am ready to bare it all.
Why am I telling you all this? Because one year ago, after I said it all out loud, I slowly and unknowingly got to the hard and insidious work of blowing it all up. I wished for what I wanted, and then I ran away from it. I was two steps away from that vision, with clients booking in every week, workshops on a regular basis, and a community of like-minded people that was turning into my tribe.
And it felt too good to be true. So I sabotaged it.
But not on purpose.
I started veering off onto another track, forgetting my own vision. I abandoned the carefully formulated blueprint I had developed and let my whims guide me. I got caught up in sparkle and glitter and forgot to ask whether what I was metaphorically wearing actually flattered me at all.
And now it’s time to change my story.
Because when you change your story, you change your life.
Over the past ten years, my career story has been: I am good at what I do but I don’t know how to market myself or make the sale. My career story has been: I have a lot of knowledge but people can find that information anywhere, so why would they look for me? My career story has been: I am good, but not that great, and my clients can feel it.
And that story simply does not match the truth.
I am in the midst of a website re-design, and was looking through my testimonials. Here is some of what came up on the current website (www.talktosaira.com):
“It is no secret that Dr. Saira saved me. She shone a light so bright into my darkness, I was forced to embrace the deepest parts of myself, and from there I learned to love myself, and find the will to live.”
“Dr. Saira is a Transpersonal Psychotherapist but I would prefer to call her a “Transformational Psychotherapist”. I have never experienced anything like her workshops before but after going I realized that we can step into happiness and joy in an instant.”
“Dr. Saira has empowered me to face my inner challenges and achieve a life that I love. Through her compassionate guidance and laser-like ability to focus on what’s really in my way, she has brought me to new depths of self-love and healing.”
And these are just three of the dozens and dozens and dozens of clients I have worked with over the last decade.
So again, why would you care? What is the point of sharing my inner musings about my career path with you?
The reason I share is because I think you care.
And I think you care because I think if you have made it this far, you are probably just like me. I think you tell yourself things, awful things, that are simply not true about you. I think from the outside you look like you are handling things, but on the inside you often feel like a five- year-old wearing your parent’s clothes, just pretending to adult with the rest of us.
I think you have a story, perhaps even a believable story, that you are ready to re-write.
And today, as Summer looms promisingly on the horizon, I would challenge you to begin re-writing. That story may be about how your past has created certain limitations in you. That story might be about feeling trapped in a certain life situation. That story may be about how un-loveable you are. And I bet you if you asked a few people who knew you well to write you a testimonial, you would get a whole new story.
This is the year of my new story, and the year I re-visit the blueprint I developed during that powerful conversation with my husband. And I invite you, wholeheartedly, to join me. There are two new workshops coming up, a Summer workshop in Calgary for family members of those struggling with addiction, and a Fall workshop in Vancouver for couples with kids. I would love to see you there, and help you change your story.
It’s time to come back with to the deep end of the pool. After all, we have spent so many years taking swimming lessons, right? If you are ready to dive in by getting on to my private mailing list or signing up for a workshop, PM me, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Check out (and like!) my Dr. Saira YouTube Channel for video clips teaching you how to change your story so you can actually have the life you always wanted.
It’s your life, and only you can live it.